Cat bottoms, expensive toilet rolls and a beaver called Alan

S/W Ver: 85.97.F1P

I am not gonna lie to you; there are times when I get totally distracted from writing. Some days I am caught in the zone and can churn out page after page, but there are other days where stuff just gets in the way. These are five things that distract me.

1/ Cat bums. Usually my kitties can be found snuggled up against my feet, far too exhausted to move after their busy days eating, watching moths, eating, sleeping, eating, walking round in circles meowing, trying to break into the fridge and plucking the sofa, but you can guarantee the second I start typing (including right now) there is one swanning about in front of me, tail ramrod straight, purring and kneading at the computer keys – I blame them for all my typos – going ‘look at my lovely bum’.

2/ Rightmove. Well, okay, Facebook, Twitter and Sporcle can also be quite distracting, but Rightmove offers us the chance to see inside other people’s houses and rate how bad their taste in home décor is on a scale of one to ten. It doesn’t matter that I’m not in the market for a new house; the temptation to snoop is too great.

3/ Phone calls from my mum. Now it’s a universal fact that mums like to chat, and I swear that my mum has a magic telephone in her house that recognizes when I am mid-sentence working on a blog or book and automatically dials my number. Now I love talking to my mum, having a gossip about stuff, venting our frustration about how Sainsbury’s have put up the price of loo rolls by a whole 12 pence and listening to how she walked round the golf course and could barely put one foot in front of the other, but it is not conducive to my writing.

4/ My OCD need to know pointless stuff. I blame my dad for this one, as he was the king of useless trivia and I appear to have inherited from him the need to know everything. Now, as you can imagine, “everything” is a lot to take in, but I can’t stop myself. So far my compulsion has led me to have to know every single country in the world, what the capital city is of every country in the world, the national flag for every country in the world and the entire periodic table, among other things. Why do I have to know this stuff? And to make it worse, as I get older my memory gets worse, so I have to keep testing myself to make sure I don’t forget. Yes, Beev is a full on geek. Don’t hold it against me and please still buy my book. I promise you it is more fun than I am.

5/ Watching cute videos on Youtube. Oh come on, we all do it. Personal favourites are Christian the lion, the dog being teased with stuff in the fridge and the talking animals video with the beaver calling Alan.